In conversations, we constantly refer to each other, often without realising it, using personal pronouns. These little words like “he,” “she,”, “we”, and “they” carry significant meaning, especially when it comes to acknowledging someone’s identity. Personal pronouns are more than just words; they can be an essential part of how an individual expresses who they are and how they wish to be seen in the world.
Why Do Pronouns Matter?
Pronouns matter because they reflect the respect we show towards people’s identities. Imagine being called by the wrong name, or worse, a name you don’t identify with—over and over again. It’s frustrating, even dehumanising. The same is true when someone’s pronouns are disregarded or assumed incorrectly. Using the correct pronouns helps affirm a person’s identity and foster a sense of belonging. It’s a small but powerful act of respect and kindness.
Many people make assumptions about others’ pronouns based on appearance or names, but those assumptions can often be wrong. Gender expression doesn’t always align with societal expectations, and assuming someone’s gender or pronouns can send an unintentionally harmful message—that someone must look a certain way to be recognised for who they are. By simply asking, “What are your pronouns?” instead of assuming, we create more inclusive spaces for everyone, including transgender, nonbinary, intersex, and gender nonconforming people.
Pronouns Are Not Preferences
It’s important to recognise that a person’s pronouns are not a “preference”; they are an integral part of their identity. The phrase “preferred pronouns” can imply that their identity is optional or up for debate, which it isn’t. Their pronouns are theirs—plain and simple. Respecting this fact is key to treating people with the dignity they deserve.
Using They/Them Pronouns
One common misconception is that “they/them” pronouns are only used for multiple people. In fact, English speakers already use “they/them” as a singular pronoun all the time without thinking twice. Consider sentences like, “Someone left their phone behind” or “The winner will receive their prize.” In both cases, “they” refers to a single person whose gender is unspecified. This usage is not only grammatically correct but also has been part of English for centuries. Normalising “they/them” for individuals is simply an extension of this.
A Simple Yet Impactful Gesture
On International Pronouns Day, we are reminded of the importance of respecting, sharing, and educating others about pronouns. Using the correct pronouns is one of the simplest, most affirming actions we can take. It signals to someone that they are safe, seen, and celebrated for who they truly are. These small acts of acknowledgement and understanding can have a profound impact on someone’s day—and their life.
If you’re unsure about someone’s pronouns, it’s always okay to ask! Just as we ask someone their name, asking for pronouns should become a natural part of our interactions. By doing so, we help create a world that is more inclusive and welcoming for all.
So, this International Pronouns Day, let’s commit to educating ourselves and others. Let’s normalise asking for and using the correct pronouns—because every person deserves to be respected for who they are.